ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS FOR FRIENDSHIP )


True Christian Friendship
But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:7–8
How do we know that we are having authentic or true friendships with people? I believe that true friendships show their true attitudes, no pretensions. Friends are the ones who are there when you need their help. Lifts you up when you’re down. Gives you encouragement in times of failure. They are the ones who does not only see and tell what’s good in you, but corrects you when they feel and think that you are not in the right path, the path that leads to GOD. This means that they show their concern and that they love you. And that they don’t want you to be away from the light of God.
True friends show compassion. A Christian fellowship is not just an ordinary chitchat about the things we see or the stories we about the people around, but a heart to heart talk with one another, sharing our problems and giving advice. Being a friend, we should have the heart to listen to them, be attentive to what they say to us. We should also listen with our hearts so that they will feel our compassion for them.
We are blessed to have friends who stick with us through good and bad times. This past few days I felt a bit of dryness in my Spirit. Thinking more of the earthly things in life. Maybe that’s the reason why I felt a bit of dryness in my spirit. But I thank God for His conviction. This awakening again brings back the joy I have been looking for. I thank God for giving me such loving friends around me who makes me laugh and share my insights with. I thank God for making them instruments for the revival of my spirit. I really feel the joy in the fellowship with my Christian friends.
I love my friends and I feel honored when they share their experiences or problems with me. I can feel the trust that they are giving to me. That is why now I am no longer afraid to share my experiences with them.
To let our friendships grow let us follow what is written in the Bible, "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed" (James 5:16 MSG).
May the God Bless our True Christian Friendships and may we continue to let Him reign in our lives.



FORGIVENESS

Are you able to easily let slights from other people roll off your back, or do you tend to hold onto resentments? Some people carry around anger from as far back as childhood. Other people wake up with a clean emotional slate every morning. And then there's the vast space in between the two emotional extremes.

Forgiveness doesn't change what the person has done, but rather changes our reaction to the situation. Forgiveness isn't about turning the other cheek. We can forgive another without forgiving the act. The same holds for our behavior. We can forgive ourselves when we have made a mistake and still own up to our actions.
I just heard yesterday...not even sure where...but it made sense to me. When you have a problem, find a solution and let go of complaining. Forgiveness creates the space for you to find the right solution. Holding on to bitterness, anger, sadness only affects your well being and adds negative stress to your life. Negative emotions indicate that we need to do something to create change. Our inner guidance is telling us that we need to understand our feelings and take action to heal and support our well being.


Forgiveness is a gift. You are not going to find it until you give it. God gave us the gift of forgiveness because there was no way that we could ever earn or deserve it. When you are the one who has committed the offense—if you have hurt others—all you can do is feel sorrow for your behavior; whether or not others forgive you is their choice. They decide whether or not to give the gift.

In our own lives, there can be no middle ground; either you decide to forgive the person who hurt you, or you hold onto bitterness and anger. You may not be able to do it at the same moment as Jesus. Forgiveness can take time. But forgiveness breaks the power that holds you captive to the offense. The sooner we can get our heads around that, the sooner we will begin to be free.



II. A Few Definitions
A. Anger is a strong feeling of intense displeasure, hostility, or indignation as a result of a real or imagined threat, insult, frustration, or injustice toward yourself or others important to you.
B. Forgiveness is giving up resentment (anger) against someone else, along with your right to get even, no matter what has been done to you.
C. Unforgiveness is the deliberate, willful refusal to give up one’s resentment and right to get even, based on the attitude that someone must pay for the wrong done.
III. Obstacles to Forgiveness
A. Lack of desire: You don’t want to forgive.
B. Rehearsing what happened: Some people continue to dwell on the hurtful experience.
C. Pride: We may believe the other person should initiate reconciliation.
D. Fear: Some resist forgiving to avoid looking weak, being misunderstood, or feeling rejected.
E. Negative advice: Well-meaning friends don’t always offer godly counsel.
F. Partial forgiveness: People try to pick and choose which offenses can be pardoned.
G. Relying on emotions: Don’t make the mistake of waiting until you feel like forgiving.
H. Expecting quick results: Forgiveness can take time.
I. Justifying the other person’s actions: Some people will rationalize what happened so that they don’t have to forgive.


VI. Steps to Dealing With Anger
1. Acknowledge that you have been totally forgiven. God saved you by grace––not because you deserved it. He has freely offered His forgiveness your entire life.
2. Confess your anger to the Lord. Recognize that your attitude has not been right. Be specific in describing your hostility and resentment.
3. Recognize that unforgiveness is sin. Honestly admit that it is a violation of biblical principles.
4. Ask God to forgive you. You may also need to admit to the other person that your attitude towards him or her was wrong.
5. Lay down the anger. Through the power of the Holy Spirit and by an act of your will, choose to let it go.


VIII. How to Know You Have Forgiven
A. The harsh emotions you have had towards others will be replaced by compassion.
B. You’ll be able to accept others without feeling bitter, even if they never change. You will try to understand why they acted the way they did.
C. You will feel thankful that God allowed the difficult experience to teach you more about the riches of His grace

Forgiveness is hard because your pain was not dealt with properly. If you pray to God after you are hurt, and let Him heal you, you will get healed some day. Some times it takes years, sometimes it takes minutes. As soon as your wounds are healed, you will find that your offender is a weaker person than you thought. He needs God badly, and that's why you should have pity on him.