Forgiveness and Bondage

Forgiveness and Bondage
Notice that the word forgive suggests action. It is not a something that "sits" or an "object" that is numbly passed from person to person. More accurately, it is not even a "something." It is an "active, doing, being" part of life. It is found in the heartfelt words of sorrow between marital partners; it is manifest in the willingness of family members to encourage the relief of shame or guilt from a loved one who has offended or erred. When couples and families fail to forgive,
Being able to forgive is a gift you giver yourself. It benefits not only the person who is forgiven but also the person who forgives. Remember the idea of an unwillingness to forgive leading to an unequal relationship where the offender is in a one-down position? Not only is the person who wronged another in bondage, so to speak, to the individual he/she wronged, he/she is in bondage with that same person. The reason for this is that the person who is unwilling to forgive never is able to remove him- or herself from the power of the previous wrong.
All of us have need to seek forgiveness from others as well as forgive others. Recognizing when to seek it and when to give it is important. When it comes to forgiving others, it is crucial to highlight an important matter regarding reconciliation in the forgiveness process.
Some people don't forgive because they see forgiveness as a sign of weakness. It is helpful to consider some of the personal qualities often necessary to forgive. These include humility, empathy, courage, integrity, sincerity, honesty, spirituality, a sense of community, love, kindness, mercy, and a host of other qualities. Certainly, all of these attributes are signs of strength, not weakness.
It is helpful to remember that if the Lord is willing to forgive us (which he expresses throughout scripture), why should we not forgive ourselves? Why should we keep tormenting ourselves for past mistakes if we have done all we can to rectify those mistakes? While this is easier said than done, the realization that we aren't forgiving ourselves, but that we need to, is often the first step to forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not something you give to someone else. It is a gift you give yourself. Forgiving the perpetrator for his action does not mean you stop judging the deed. You forgive him/her, not the action. Forgiveness allows you to live in the present and leave the past behind. Forgiveness will bring you peace.